(concluding part)

Monday morning, when Anu was getting ready for the office, her cell rang and it was Nikhil's call. Anu went through mixed feelings. Her heart skipped a bit and mind quickly revised all the points she was to discuss in the meeting today.

“Morning Anu, Sorry to bother you, but I have some urgent work in the morning so can we meet at lunch hour instead?” Nikhil sounded polite .

“Right, Mr. Nikhil....I will see you in your office at 1pm then. Is it fine?” Anu replied promptly.

She was relieved that the call was related to work.

“No Anu, Not in the office, since I will be out.....could you make it to Galaxy? We will have lunch and finalize the paper work...” Nikhil sounded in haste but waited for her reply.

“Okay....I will be there...”, Anu could not say much, but she became uneasy again. Galaxy was popular among office goers. Quick service, tasty food and soothing ambiance would recharge all exhausted office people.

Anu unknowingly approached for the dress in the same shade, that had brought her the complement from Nikhil. Then she promptly informed her husband, Jai about her lunch meeting in Galaxy....trying to sound normal and getting rid of the guilt of wanting to look good for the other man. Jai was on his way to school to drop the kids and then to the office. He simply replied, “Okay, good day!” and cut the call as he was driving.

Anu took extra care about her hair and preferred to leave it open today. She thought again, “God what I am doing? I have passed the age to feel infatuated years before, I have a family to take care of and I love my family....so why this? What is this? She called Ritu and told her about the lunch meeting. Ritu exclaimed, “Good! Go on...enjoy the attention. What's wrong in that.?.....Just remain politically correct.”

Anu always wanted to be appreciated for her work and was she for so many years now....but somebody like Nikhil who was an achiever in his own right was also appreciating her the way she looked......had stirred her feminine side.

Anu reached Galaxy, and found Nikhil waiting outside for her, who escorted her to the table he had booked and after she made herself comfortable, asked her, “So , looking ravishing again ! You do not look like you are a mother of two. I think I must take fitness tips from you.” He smiled and looked at her. She tried her best not to blush but smiled and said, “Thank you”. Her heart was beating fast.....and she prayed if they could talk only work. She wondered that she looked forward to hear something good.....and when she did, why she felt uncomfortable.

Nikhil politely asked for her choice, placed the order and candidly told about his wife and children who were in high school. He made light conversation and quickly finished his lunch. After lunch it was all work , they discussed, finalized many things. For her own surprise Anu was quite comfortable now.....and she asked Nikhil, if he would like to have coffee, before they left?

Nikhil was surprised, and said in the light mood, “Am I that lucky? Sure”......Anu smiled and asked waiter to get two coffee.

After coffee, they both got up shook hand and Nikhil said, “So our work is almost done now.....also I had a nice time with you . Thank you”

Anu smiled back confidently and replied, “Same here. Thank You”.

Anu reported to Nandita and was quite relaxed. Her phone rang after the office hours, as she expected it was Ritu.. “So how did it go?”....Ritu asked curiously.

“Meet me at the coffee shop, I will tell you.” Anu said.

Anu and Ritu ordered their favorite coffee. “You know Ritu, I love Jai all the more. And I am very happy and got over with my confused feelings. I am more confidant now and I guess it is absolutely normal to look good for others.”

Ritu was amazed, “Hey what happened?”

Anu said, “Well, you know....even Nikhil is happily married with two teen aged children. And so I am....but when he praised me, may be the woman within me felt good .....who had forgotten to be appreciated for her feminine beauty.....and at this age, even if they get gray hair,men still command the attention....where as we get trapped in aging zone.....but he or rather his compliment woke up the woman within me and I felt good....and I felt young and happy. Life is stable.....but I won't let it be monotonous.....I look forward......to look good....learn many things which I wanted to.....and spend a wonderful time with Jai.”

Ritu said , “So there was no attraction factor with Nikhil.”

Anu said, “No...absolutely not and that is what I was trying to figure out. We are not teenagers after all ..... in fact mothers of teens now...... It was just a feel good factor.....which missed from my life for so long......I probably would not have thought much about this in my younger days.......But now, it brought a significant change in me ! ..... life is not over for us.”

Ritu raised her brows and said, “You mean , we still have ....possibilities!”

“Yes possibilities to redefine ourselves....to recharge ourselves ......to live the life with the same zest the way we did years before..........and feel good about it....not guilty as I did.” Anu said.

“So let's celebrate our new young age with this coffee....!!” - Ritu smiled and raised her coffee.

“Yes, and Thanks to the person who brought the spark back in my life....” - Anu smiled and said.

“With just one compliment !!”....they both said in unison.

“This color suits you....I mean , you look good in this......Have a nice day!” , Nikhil had said this very subtly trying not to sound too personal when she was about to leave. Anu was not prepared for this....she was startled for a moment , but immediately smiled back , said “ Oh, Thank you...and Good day, Mr. Nikhil”.....She always made it a point to remain formal while dealing with people at work. She opened the door of his cabin and left his office. She was back on the road , steering through the lunch hour crowd towards her office.

She was used to receive compliments from her friends,colleagues and even relatives as she had a very good sense of dressing and carried herself very well, in her twenties. And later an MBA degree and this job had added a spark in her personality.

Later marriage, kids and family responsibilities eventually lead her to a life style with no time for herself. And she was continuously switching her roles from a working professional to a Mom to a wife to a home manager and back to working professional like a robot within 24 hours......She wondered, It has been ages since somebody noticed her for her looks.....and it was so unexpected and coming from the person whom she admired professionaly. She was surprised and wondered when was the last time she was appreciated for her appearance...... After 15 years of her marriage Anu and her husband Jai were leading a smooth married life.....and many things were just understood and hence were not expressed.

“How come you manage this smoothness in your marriage, Anu?”....her friends would ask her frequently. Anu always wondered that why her friends thought so.......because it was just that , they were too well adjusted and enjoyed being with kids, and knew the importance of a close knit family. Otherwise life was quite monotonous for her. Going to the office, looking after kids' studies turn by turn, and outings and pending jobs on the weekends. Everything was going as per time table. Both Jai and Anu were perfectly designed to be working professionals,parents and ideal husband and wife in given time slots.

Things were quite smooth and at times Anu would fear this and would discuss with her husband , “Though I like perfection in my work....but when I see our perfect family life....I get scared....why do we get along so well...It is so boring.”

“Anu...” Jai would laugh, brushing away her worries, “ Do not worry....we will soon have our session of fighting and arguments.”

“Yes Jai...but even our fights are predictable....I even know what would you say next...in fact I can argue from both the sides.....I know you so very well!” Anu smiled wryly and said.

They would have their own sessions of arguments and heated discussions in between but at the end they both knew how to make up and they would end up having a family outing with the kids.....and eventually would get busy with their 'oh so perfect' routine.

Still Anu felt the life had become so predictable, She would discuss this with her close friend Ritu,who was of her age, married and had kids.

“Anu, I guess we are going through that stable phase, when we are done with exams, degree,job hunting,relations......marriage, kids.. So no new possibilities.” Ritu said.

Anu shook her head and said, “ Yes, Ritu you are right.....the only next good and exciting thing that would happen with us would be when our children pass their 10^th board, graduate and then get married?”

“Oh my God.....we will grow officially old by then!” Anu said and both the friends laughed out loudly. Giggling was way behind.......

Anu reached her office, parked her car and headed towards the lift. Nikhil's words were still echoing in her mind....and she was feeling uncomfortable and wondering , why?

She reported Nandita, her boss about the outcomes of the meeting , discussed the points for the next and scheduled it for the coming Monday.

It was since 2 months back, Anu had started meeting Nikhil regarding the opening of their new branch and she was impressed the way Nikhil handled everything so meticulously . He was well versed with all the aspects of the business and had a fantastic working atmosphere in his office. She did not realize that her meetings were getting more informal, he would inquire about the well being of her family....the way he would with his staff in between.

He had enormously praised her organized way of working...the way she had worked on all the details about the new branch. She had started enjoying his company and looked forward to these meetings. Apparently there was nothing....just work....but still his company would make her feel again in her twenties . Every day she would introspect her feelings.....she was amazed that she would come back home smiling, the day she had meeting with Nikhil. Today again she had reached home smiling.

Jai knew about her new project and Nikhil. He knew that such meetings are inevitable when you work and was quite casual about it.

But Anu was not...... She was scared and prayed “God, why I am feeling so good? why I am blushing at the thought of his complement?”

                                                                                                                          ......contd.

The safety of the senior citizens has become a serious matter of concern these days. Specially in Metros and other big cities where within a family people do not have time for each other, senior generation is completely left out.

Being surrounded by people and emotional support of the family is one step ahead; the basic safety of their life is under question. This is the generation who were young parents in 60's and 70's and very well aware of the advantages of a small family and had two children, who later grew young in the booming economy and ample of opportunities.....so had promising careers at the cost of going far from parents and mother land too....both physically and unknowingly emotionally too.....and sometimes may be in the same country, but probably not in the same city.

Now the younger generation can not be blamed completely for this state , as I have seen parents taking pains to send their children abroad for higher education, and naturally feeling proud when they do well over there and lead a life which they could not even dream of. At that point of time even they are young senior citizens, so they probably do not realize the other aspect of it.

Even within India, there are big jobs, far better opportunities that take youngsters to places from small to big cities. Now such jobs are very demanding and one hardly has a time for himself/herself ..... and the younger generation gets used to a particular life pattern.....and mature youngsters do realize their duties of being with parents but things are not as easy now, because by now parents too have got used to living by themselves on their own, so can not adjust to new place and a new life style.

And from late sixties to 70 plus onwards they are not strong enough to defend themselves and become vulnerable.

Sometimes children try their best and arrange for good domestic help, Internet connection with web cam, mobile whenever they visit and sometimes they don't.

And in Metros these domestic helps have now become the biggest threat to the senior citizens. A row of murder cases of elderlies in Delhi is quite a recent example.

So what is the solution? Old Age Homes? Sounds cruel? But this reminds me an incident I read in Mrs. Sudha Murthy's book ,” Wise and Otherwise” . She has beautifully narrated interesting episodes that she experienced in her life. One such episode was about an old man, who was brought in to her office by a gentleman. The old man was found unattended on the street, hence the Gentleman who brought him requested if she could manage something for him, as she is into social work.

The old man was sent under proper care. Some time later he fell seriously ill, so was hospitalized and some person was contacted whose number was found by the care takers in the old man's bag, and who was nominee of all his money. And when this person was presented before Mrs. Sudha Murthy, he happened to be the same person who had brought the old man to her office! And he was the son of the dying old man. This was quite painful, as the people at old age home took care of the old man who was thrown out by his son.....who appeared later to take away all the money .

Well, this was the case of an undutiful son, but now when for any reason, if the old couple has to stay alone....why not to have such old age homes where their security is guaranteed, and they could avail all those facilities....which they have at home. Now this was the point raised in the book .....that such old couples should invest their money in old age homes, who in turn can take good care of them and provide them all the facilities like medical , recreation etc.

Of course the best way is to have your own people around. Those families who are able to stay together , Cheers to them .....and let us hope there should be more and more such families . But if it is not getting possible for any reason.....it is always a better option to live in a safe environment.

If only people could change their mentality.....that old age homes are only for those who do not have anybody. If the old couples do not/ can not stay with their children for any given reason......and they do not feel safe staying alone too.....then It would be nice if some pvt/govt organization coul build such homes, where they can be together with the people of their age.....also in a close knit and safe environment. Because with time this problem is going to increase day by day.....as the life is getting more mechanical.....and families are losing its definition.

People and Govt should be concerned about the safety of the senior citizens ..... after all today's younger generation has grown smart under their vigilance and care of theses senior citizens.

Three Women

Three women were enjoying coffee at the coffee table in the kitchen of the youngest woman , Ishita a software engineer married for 6 months...... It was a saturday evening and Ishita was looking forward to this day as she had planned to spend the weekend along with other two women, one her mom, Shubhangi, Prof of chemistry and her Mom's Mom (Nani), who had been a home maker all her life but very alert and aware and well informed .

Shubhangi asked her daughter, ” Ishi, What would you like to have for tomorrow's b'fast? What does Abhijeet like?” Abhijeet, Ishi's husband was also a software engineer, was yet to be back from his work.

“Oh , Do not worry Mom, Sunday B'fast is Abhi's tension. He will fix it.” Ishita said.

“What? Then what do you do?” Nani asked her surprisingly.

“Oh Nani, I have to get up early and leave for the office 2 hrs before him on weekdays. So he makes sure I get my morning sleep on Sundays” Ishita smiled and explained her Nani.

“How thoughtful and understanding!” Shubhangi's chest swelled with the pride for her son-in- law.

“I had to cook both the b'fast and lunch for the entire family single handedly, before I left for the college” Shubhangi remembered the days when she had just joined as a lecturer in the science college.

“Ma, why didn't you ever insist that Dad helps you in the kitchen ?” Ishita asked , who had seen her mom slogging for her and her brother be it their school meetings, cooking and her own job.

Shubhangi took a sip and said “Getting your Dad to make a cup of tea was far more difficult than fixing a breakfast for four of us. The spilled milk, asking 100 questions like where is sugar, how much to be put.....and all....So I just became faster than a robot, doing everything by myself” Shubhangi smiled and ruffled her daughter's hair lovingly and said, “You are lucky beta, this new gen husbands understand and help a lot. Isn't it?”

“Oh yes, Mom but I call it sharing of the jobs. Don't I earn too? But we hardly get time to spend with each other, we are so exhausted everyday, and stick to laptop on the weekends, as we both want to achieve more.” said Ishita matter-of-factly.

“We never faced any such problem in our times.” said Nani who was quietly hearing the conversation going on between the daughter and the mother . Our roles were fixed and jobs were decided....and probably we got enough time for each other in spite of having no gadgets and machines to do household chores!!

“So it was my generation who suffered the most , We had a job and still slogged at home too. May be it was a transition period, when men were learning to live with the working women....and they learnt it just the half way through.....only up to the salary , I guess” , Shubhangi said.

“ Yes , but Ma and Nani, we , today's gen put our foot down. As we can do every that thing that a man can do and I just can not take things lying low.” said Ishita and poured some more coffee for herself and continued, “Tell me Nani, Is there any job that we can not do? We even take pains to deliver the baby.”

Nani watched her face, smiled and said, “ Yes beta, as an intellectual human being, a man and a woman , both are equal....but nature has its own definition. I know women take a lot of pains to deliver a baby, but I really do not understand , why to make such an ado about it? Nature has made both man and a woman with significant characters to each and  added extra emotions, feelings and tenderness to the woman so that she can nurture.”,  Nani  paused and took a deep breath.

Ishita and Shubhangi were listening to her sincerely and remained quiet expecting more coming from her, “Well, tell me dear, whenever there is an unfortunate incident of death even in the neighborhood, does ever a man go to his wife and say, “Now I have helped you in the household chores, you go for the funeral. Never, it is always a man's shoulder to carry many such uncalled responsibilities.”

“Of course this example may sound quiet weired.....but I just want to point out, that men too do their part and are learning to do what their kind did not do earlier like rearing the children or cooking....May be Shubhangi's gen did suffer ....but Ishita, you should be happy about yourself, and learn some time management, to be with each other. So, tomorrow's breakfast will be from Nani to all of you, even Shubhangi will enjoy her morning sleep !” - Nani concluded and got up to keep her cup in the sink.

Both Shubhagi and Ishita kept looking at her back, while she walked away, straight and smart at this age of 70.

“But, Nani what about the financial independence? Like me and mom have our own salary cheques. You never thought so?” Ishita asked.

“Well, in our time our husbands never claimed anything as their salary cheques, still if they ever got difficult , ......” , Nani winked at her grand daughter and said ....“ We had our ways!”

Hair Gel & Deo Spray for the kids ?......What's the hurry?

As I had mentioned in one of my previous posts," Changing Times” ,that now the rate of change is very fast. And you probably feel so when you have said goodbye to your college days (as during those days you feel all the trends are for you) and more when you have become a parent and rapid increase in the height and the shoe number of your children makes you feel, it is their time now.

But not so soon and not in all the aspects of the life as projected by the ads of so many products these days. Globalization has exposed us to so many things....Fine.

The purchase power of a middle class Indian has increased manyfolds.....Fine. But why do we let others decide what do we want and what not?

Among all the species, human being takes longest (almost two decades) to become an adult individual (he keeps learning and maturing though all thru his life)

Now the longest time itself suggests that the human child has to pass through each stage slowly and steadily as his mind is capable of handling things suitable only to his age.

These days the companies are launching hair gel, shampoos for the kids, encouraging the kids to use the deo spray and moreover also suggesting that how it is a must to boost your confidence. Ads are straight away targeted to the kids.

Now these things certainly do not come under necessities but naturally kids get influenced by these ads and force their parents to buy the products.

Now it is up to the parents how they handle this. Well, I do not say by using such product a childhood is wasted but this is absolutely not required. Apart from the unnecessary use of the chemicals, it might distract the child from his simple life of playing, studying , learning and exploring. There is whole life lying ahead of him to do such things, first let him/her grow completely in to an adult. What is the hurry?

Vote for me……? Poor Kids!

(This article is reposted in its original version as posted a few months back. It had disappeared from my iland.)

Recently released movie “Tare Zameen Par” is a wonderful movie. A movie so beautifully made, it makes you cry but still you come out not feeling heavy but pondering and somewhere trying to check yourself. That is the power of media. It has touched the hearts of millions of people in every role. Parents, teachers and children everybody has big learning lesson in it.

Now, during the same period, another strong media television is showing so many reality shows and these TRP oriented shows have also converted one time decent, simple, feel good singing competition into dirty game of vote politics. One feels bad when this is extended to innocent kids, these talented kids who perform so beautifully and then over a period of few episodes appear to loose their innocence through their makeovers while asking for the votes. Not only that they also learn how to impress people through their talks (of course, parents are responsible for that). The way they speak, it just doesn’t suit their age. It is so evident that they are being taught so.

On the other hand for emotional kids things are even worst. They are suddenly exposed to huge popularity, glamour which takes them to another dream world and if this voting game doesn’t go in their favour, they just break down as it is they are already under the pressure of competition, performance, parental pressure. Which child will feel good to see his or her parents crying on TV when they lose? Somewhere they hold themselves responsible failing their parents.

Recently, while watching one such show I was shocked to see that one father spent around Rs one lac just to vote for his child through different phones and through net. Another father suffered a heart attack because his kid was eliminated and seeing that another contestant refused to perform fearing any such thing happening to her dad. And when the kids are going through emotional turmoil, their crying faces are telecast with sad tunes in the background. It is disgusting.

The saddest part is that parents also get involved in this game and they pick up fights over judgements or voting results. Are they trying to live their dreams through their li’l kids? Why don’t they realize that at the end of the day it is business for the channels and the telecom companies?

Such competition will be so graceful if kids come, perform and learn a lot and go back home whether they win or lose. They are so lucky that they are born in such an era where they are getting such a huge platform to showcase their talent and such great singers as judges and such an opportunity to learn from them!

Parents should realize that these contestants are their little children who have yet to bloom and a long way to go. So please encourage them with love. Do not push them into this “Please vote me…if you like me…” tactics.

Of course the root cause is the format of such programs so I think people concerned should take a note of it and make sure that they bring the required changes in the format which should be child friendly.

 Being ordinary is no less ......

Nishi did not have to wait for long. Once she did not have much work in the office....so she left after the lunch and straight away headed to Nupur's house after giving her a call and cofirming if she was free.

Lots of green palms, earthen bells, traditional toran at the main entrance made her feel so good.

Nupur opened the door and welcomed her with the same beaming face and friendly smile. She was looking even more beautiful in a simple cotton suit.

“Coming straight from the office ? Must be tired. I will get you some fresh lime, please sit.” Nupur said and went in shaking the bell string which kept tinkering melodiously.

Nishi was surprised as somehow simple but beautifully decorated living room was making her feel so comfortable and at ease. CD player was playing some mild instrumental music. There were lots of fresh flowers in the vase and all windows were open letting outside air and light in. Nishi felt fresh instantly.

Nupur came back with fresh lime and asked her about her work, and the kids.

The conversation was smoothly moving, when there was a big thud they heard coming from inside and a sound of some glass crashing down on the floor.

Nishi jerked and there was a question in her eyes.

Nupur just smiled back and said “Oh it is my dear Tanu, Tanishk that is. He probably wants water. I will be back in a moment.”

Nishi could not understand anything, Nupur does not look like she has a small baby or may be some elderly person at home.

Soon Nupur came out carrying her 8 year old special child, whose head was tilted on one side and he was constantly drooling which Nupur was continuously wiping without a single crease on her face with lots of love, patience and utter care.

Tanishk who was quite tall to his age was costantly rubbing his palms against his mother's cheeks to confirm his security and was giving a cold stare to Nishi in between.

Nupur made him sit in her lap, held him tight and assured him , “Yes son, Mama is here very much here. See, who has come to meet you today? She is Nishi Aunty. You know she is Mama's friend so she is Tanu's friend too. Isn't it?”

Tanishk made some weired sound, swayed his body and embraced his mother.

Nishi was shocked, she just froze she did not know how to react and what to say. But she controlled herself, and tried to involve in the conversation between the mother and the son.

“Yes dear, I am your friend too........” . She tried to be as normal as she could be.

Nupur looked at Nishi and said , “ Thanks Nishi , but it is Okay . He can not hear and speak properly. He can only see and feel and recognize the touch. He can not register the images also in his mind not even of me. It is just through the touch , he knows mama is around.”

She gave him water, made him sit on the sofa and held his hands. He eventually fell asleep. Nupur carried him inside and put him on the bed and came out.

"Sorry Nishi, before I could tell you about my second child, the inspiration for me to work in an NGO which runs the special schools. Tanu himself made his presense felt." Nupur said as she could sense the bewilderment of Nishi.

Nupur continued , “Actually he is missing his Dad but Amit my husband had to accept some project and go abroad as it would get him all that money which we would be requiring for his treatment, speech therapy and many other special treatments.” Nupur explained.

“You know Tanishk is my ground reality, he connects me to the God. He is my life energy. He is struggling everyday to survive and he teaches me this important lesson to live life to its fullest and be happy so that you can return the same to your loved ones. My daughter Ishita has grown mature much before her age but she loves her brother. Last month she won a trophy in the quiz competition which she brought home and gave it to Tanishk and said , It is for you brother. This makes him happy; he connects with his sister.”

Nishi was hearing her sincerely while there was some kind of turbulence in her mind . She noticed that Nupur's smile was not leaving her even for a moment and her face did not have a single crease because of the problems in her life.

“God has choosen us to for dear Tanishk. Yes we have to put extra efforts to lead a normal life but that is the least we can do, and we love being with him, we take him out to malls, gardens, and you know, he understands not to drool when out, he enjoys being out.”  Nupur smiled again.

It was quite some time since Nishi was sitting there.

“Hey, It is tea time. How about some hot snacks? I have made something for you.” Nupur excused herself and went into the kitchen.

She came out with hot Vada Sambhar and filter coffee. Nishi was surprised to see the skills of her perfect hostess and an amazingly positive person.

While she was having her coffee, a lot was going on in Nishi's mind. She asked Nupur to come over and left.

Nishi came out mechanically and sat in the car, she was still feeling numb. She sat for a few moments before she started the car. While driving she was lost in retrospection. She found herself so much blessed and still so small as compared to Nupur. Today she thanked herself for having visited to such a wonderful person who taught her a very important lesson in the life, which she may have studied in the text book as the moral of the story. “Be happy and be thankful for what you have.”  She also learned how important it is to love one's family for what they are as things could have been worse.

She felt very guilty for not showing the happiness for whatever marks her kids scored. She felt guilty for not understanding her husband. She felt guilty for cribbing all the time and wasting all good times in sulking while everything was quite smooth. She never realized her kids were happy and healthy and fortunately did not feel pressurized in spite of her expectations, just because her husband constantly tried to convince her and encouraged kids in a loving and playful manner.

She was almost in tears and wanted to reach home and hug her children and husband and present them a new Nishi.

Being ordinary is no less.....

Nishi was reluctant to go to the party; but still she dressed up, got the children ready just because she was slightly convinced with what Vineet, her husband said, “ Now when your mood is upset, you must come to the party otherwise you will sulk at home, once we three have left”

Vineet had smiled while stressing the words “we three” .

Vineet, easy going and a family man always made sure that family went out together be it shopping,partying or visiting friends. Nishi was more into career making and she got complete support from her family as a result she was doing very well. Vineet had taken the charge of the kids and was quite satisfied the way his career graph was going. It was Nishi who would encourage Vineet to pay extra attention towards his career as Nishi knew he had potential but held back himself as he did not want to disturb the stability of the family.

Nishi had a big fight when last month, Vineet refused to go to US for one year project. Nishi was shocked.

“What stuff you are made up of ? You never want to go ahead in the life? Why ?” She almost yelled at Vineet. “Look at your colleague, Nitin ,who immediately grabbed this opportunity and leaving next month and....”

“....And leaving his wife behind who is to deliver next month.” Vineet interrupted and tried to defend himself.

“...What Nonsense, his wife must be the happiest person on the earth and must be packing for him by now” Nishi ridiculed him.

“....but your wife is capable of staying alone and looking after kids while you are gone.” , Nishi tried to convince him, hoping if anything could change his mind. Her tone had mellowed down.

Vineet said calmly, “Look Nishi, One year is a very long time. You have long working hours and you certainly can not take a break from your job nor can you shift to part time at this point of your career. And our kids are young, they can not be left with Aayah for longer period.”

But Nishi kept sulking.

Vineet was his usual cool, as he knew that Nishi is a very good person at heart, very hard working,brilliant and loved her family but she was bitten by the “Ambition” bug and wanted to excel in every aspect of life and in that bargain was losing out on present happiness.

It was she who insisted to put children in the best but expensive school, joined the elite club for social activities for which she hardly ever got the time. Her children were average performers in academics and that upset her even more.

She would control her temper before kids but later would discuss their report cards with Vineet showing her disappointment.

Today again it was a similar day. Kids had brought report card home.

“Oh my God! Why not for once they can get higher grades on their report card. They are so average performers. Vineet, what will they be when they grow up? An average grownup with an average career? I wish they had some inborn inclination towards sports or some striking quality so they can stand out in the crowd. I would have encouraged them so much .”

Vineet understood, whom she was thinking about. It was her cousin's daughter who had shown a strong liking towards sport and now her parents were taking her all over India for school level competitions and she would make them proud winning first or second position.

She sulked “I have a husband who is simply not interested in moving ahead from where he is and kids are also not excelling in the exams where as I was a rank holder through out. There should be a reason to be happy.”

Vineet always tried to reason out with her that not everybody is same and not to get disappointed as kids will definitely do better as they grow; not everybody shines in the childhood.

He could not blame her completely though as Nishi came from a family of achievers and go getters.

She could not imagine that there could be other aspects of life too. Daughter of a successful businessman father and a renowned doctor mother, she grew up among relatives as IAS officers, Defence officers and well placed NRI's. (Years before the software boom)

Vineet had met her in a seminar and she was floored by his intelligence, his MS degree from the US and still down to earth attitude and simplicity. Even after marriage it was his ability to smile even in crisis and handle the situation calmly that had kept her away from the worries She never saw him losing his temper. Vineet's father had retired as the principal of a science college and mother was a teacher. So simplicity was the character of the family.

So there she was, sitting in the car which she had started hating now as she expected the length of the car to change with the number of years in the job. She turned behind to check if the kids were well seated before she put her seat belt.

It was after months, she was attending some party. This was their friends' wedding anniversary party so she got to see many new faces. Nishi could not remove her eyes from a strikingly beautiful lady who was smartly dressed and her face was beaming with happiness and radiating some kind of positive energy.  Nishi was curious to know about her and smiled at her.The lady smiled back and approached towards Nishi.

“Hi, I am Nupur. Childhood friend of our hostess.”

“Oh Hi!, I am Nishi. Well, I am office friend of our hostess !” Nishi reciprocated in the same manner.

“Great! So you meet her on the daily basis. It is so great to have friends around. Isn't it?” said Nupur.

Nishi could not comprehend her level of excitement but remained interested in conversation with her. Nupur had majored in Finance and worked in some internationl bank for few years and now worked with some NGO.

“Why this sudden shift?” Nishi asked.

“Well, I have some very special reason rather inspiration. Drop in for coffee, sometime. Now is the time for music. Let's enjoy the party.” Nupur smiled and pulled her to another group of friends.

Later Nishi learned that Nupur's daughter was a topper in the class and had come back with flying colors from some state level quiz competition, while her husband was out in Germany for a project.

“No doubt, why she was beaming so much. She is surrounded by achievers..” Nishi spoke to herself while returning home. “But I'll visit her one day.”

                                                                                                                                 .........Contd.

Hillary Clinton could not make it to the white house.....She lost the Democratic party's presidential nomination itself. Why ? and how?....well, a lot is being written about that in the newspapers, on the net and shown on the TV.....be it her vote to authorize the use of American force in Iraq years back or her husband Bill Clinton's statements that went against Blacks during her campaign.

Well, irrespective of all the analysis,......I just wonder why US can not have a woman leader or has never had one to date?

Where as most Asian countries which have been named as third world countries (before the rise of Uni polar world ) have had Women leaders and that too strong ones. India, Pakistan,Srilanaka, Bangladesh have seen successful women leaders.

Dear Readers,

Thank you so much for your huge response. Honestly I did not expect such an overwhelming response. Apart from comments on my blog (We need the revolution...) I received a lot of mails pertaining to the same.

Well, some mails indicate that there are people who are working for good in their own way through some organization or at individual level. Others have questioned what happens by talking or writing? There is nothing new that I have written (agreed 100%). Some of them feel now nothing can be done as the situation is too bad. While some are enthusiastically positive. I welcome all the comments. Thanks to all once again.

Now the first thing, I am a very simple and happy citizen from a middle class family. I am no celebrity and don't intend to join any political party in fact never. I guess most of us are like that isn't it? But, that should not stop us from thinking, writing and speaking our views. As unless we think about something we will not act upon it. And someday we will...... We probably do not realize that we constitute massive educated middle class which is running the economy. Isn' t that what most MNC's realized and launched their home appliances and other products in India and minted money ?

I might not be having leadership qualities and I alone can not bring the changes obviously but I can change and influence my immediate family; and family is the smallest unit of the society. I can teach kids how following the rules can make our country look good that they can be proud of. I can influence the elders to stick to the rules even if system demands corruption

Many readers have suggested very rightly that education makes all the difference. But here degrees are also sold !! Yes students keep Rs 500/- note in the answer sheets. And I know a case where A person came to write the B.Ed. exams for another student in Rajasthan. Fortunately he was caught, If not , what ethical values that teacher (original student) would have taught to the children? And irony is that, B.Ed. Degree tells that you are a proficient teacher! (Another reader strongly believes that such cases that is wrong things are only 10%) Do you really think so? (One should experience the life in Delhi)

Fast and easy money easily wash away the values probably because they are not strong enough. Murders (Some readers have mentioned the Noida case) with in the family is another dreadful example of degenerating values.

So strong values, good teachings have to be imbibed by us in the mind set of the kids. So we will have a whole generation who can not even imagine doing wrong things. Education of ETHICAL VALUES and MORALS is equally important along with the degrees.

Mr. Narayan Murthi of INFOSYS has worked successfully on his dream in this very India and with this very system.

Another recent example is that of two simple persons Mr. Ravindra Pathak and Mr. Shandilya in Gaya, who encouraged villagers to dig the ponds and wells and fight out the water problem by themselves; with their efforts and guidance many lakes in Gaya have got a new life and fields are now being watered with water pumps. Did they have the power of money or education? Probably not . It was the simple logic that WE have to work hard to solve our problem and get the results.

So, I guess whether I am a big achiever or a commoner; as far as values are concerned, I should be at the highest level. Wrong is wrong and we should not do it and that is what every child in the family should learn. And as one optimistic reader suggested good changes will occur with every generation.

I am in no capacity of preaching others; I have shared my views based on the experiences I have had so far. And I continue doing my duties and inspiring others in my own capacity.

Regards,

Swati Phatak